The father and son swim over to the vessel, and the son executes the meal with ease. The father is impressed with his son, and commends him on his excellent performance. But the son is troubled and asks, “Why do we raise our fins out of the water and circle around them? Wouldn’t it just be easier to go in and eat them?”

The father replies, “They taste better without shit in them.”

Atheists

PLAGUE – OFFICIAL SCREENER from Matt Simpson on Vimeo.

I asked my wife,
‘Where do you want to go for our anniversary?’
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
‘Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’
she said.
So I suggested, ‘How about the kitchen?’
And that’s when the fight started…

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have Sex?’
‘No,’ she answered.
I then said, ‘Is that your final answer?’
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying ‘Yes..’
So I said, ‘Then I’d like to phone a friend.’
And that’s when the fight started…

I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
‘I’ll have the rump steak, medium rare, please.’
He said, ‘Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?’
‘Nah, she can order for herself.’
And that’s when the fight started…..

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.
She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’
I said, ‘Dust’
And then the fight started..

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.’
I bought her a set of bathroom scales.
And then the fight started…

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, ‘Do you know him?’
‘Yes,’ she sighed,
‘He’s my old boyfriend…. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.’
‘My God!’ I said, ‘Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’
And then the fight started…

I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it… he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
‘I AM NOT HAPPY!’
So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which one are you?’
And then the fight started

French zombie flick, ‘The Horde’ has int. trailer – Watch more horror

Some of these people make my skin crawl. The characters of “Sex and the City 2″ are flyweight bubbleheads living in a world which rarely requires three sentences in a row. Their defining quality is consuming things.

It only gets better (or worse if you were involved in making this trash) 

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