Just a random hottie. Damn, what a bod!
Sexy Babe
What’s For Dinner?
A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean it, prepare it, and serve the deer meat for dinner. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won’t eat it if they know what it is, so he doesn’t tell them.
His little boy keeps asking him, “What’s for dinner dad?”
“You’ll see”, he replies.
They start eating dinner and his daughter keeps asking him what they are eating.
“Ok”, says her dad, “Here’s a hint. It’s what your mother sometimes calls me.”
His daughter screams “Don’t eat it, Jimmy! It’s a fucking asshole!”
Source: Reddit
Swearing
A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
‘You know what?’ says the 7 year old, ‘I think it’s about time we started
swearing.’
The 4 year old nods his head in approval, so the 7 year old says, ‘When we
go downstairs for breakfast I’m gonna swear first, then you swear after me,
ok?’
‘Ok’ the 4 year old, agrees with enthusiasm..
The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for
breakfast.
‘Oh, shit mum, I don’t know, I suppose I’ll have some Coco Pops’
WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up,
and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.
She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice, ‘ And what do
YOU want for breakfast, young man?’
‘I don’t know,’ he blubbers, ‘but it won’t be fucking Coco Pops’
Bagpipes
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to
play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the Kentucky back country.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn’t stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and
the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and
they were eating lunch.
I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the
grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what
else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my
heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never
played before for this homeless man.
And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.
As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen
nothin’ like that before, and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”
The Tulips of Holland
The Netherlands produces more than nine million tulip bulbs each year. In May the fields of tulips put on a spectacular multi-coloured display.
Road Of The Dead
Here’s a pretty cool web game called Road Of The Dead. Power through the streets of a city in the throes of a zombie outbreak. Collect points for ramming the zombies in a fountain of guts and gore but don’t hit any civilians or you’ll quickly lose those credits. When you get enough points you can buy upgrades for your vehicle.
Lots of fun and very addictive.
